Finally

Things slowly seem to be falling into place. Reconciled with the life I have been given, and happy with it!
So if you want to spread gossip to those who are dear to me, to try and ruin things... I hope you think again.

The wonderful Nerina Pallot has had a lovely baby boy. So Pleased for her!

And yet so sad for myself. what a terrible, selfish thing. It has really just bought some things into sharp focus for myself.

I am alone, and i realise now that i will probably be spending the rest of my life on my own. There will be no little family for myself, no-one to grow old with and to share a life with. I have a big heart, and would do anything for a partner... even learn new ways to make their life easier.

I have started on Cambridge, and i am determined to lose weight. It is so hard as i am hungry all the time, but i am going to the gym and trying to take my mind off food.

I am also being taken to court over a car accident, which i say is not my fault. All i wanted was a quiet life, with a supportive partner and someone that i can just give all my love to.

Well the chocolate ready-made drink is ok. i am alternating it with sips of water and it is slowly going down. I want to win this battle this time.

Frist day on Cambridge diet. already tried to eat a vile tasting porridge and failed. Now on to drink one of their "chocolate" "shakes".
I did well last time, and lost about 3 stone.
But i just love eating and food, and my taste buds...well...