Sometimes telling people that you have thoughts and feelings doesn't always work out. I'm sure Rawk must think i'm insane. Not that i'm exactly sane.

I think too much, most people say that. But then on the other hand i get accused of thoughtlessness, so i can't win..

I am quite upset today thought. Nearly 6 weeks ago, Rawk and I planned a trip to London to see Nerina. Last night he said to cancel the hotel, as he is going to London with osme other friends next weekend and can't afford both, and indeed is not even sure if he could drive down and back again in one night now.

I am heartbroken. I know for sure that in people's minds i don't really matter. I long for that close friend with whom i can have some companionship.