I am trying to remain calm, but Rawk hasn't contacted me, so i am in two minds. Either i should be concerned that he hasn't contacted me, or i should be cross.

I have a very strong feeling that he is going to cancel, and that makes me so sad. I am a person who tries very hard to be good, and do nice things for other people, and my repayment is to be treated like i matter to no-one...

On the other hand, maybe i am selfish, that i think the world revolves around me, and that i am not aware of everything that is going on...

I am going to have to readjust my mind set. I loved having Rawk live with, the companionship i had. But it's kind of gone. He is very rarely here, and when he is he's mostly in his room. It was good when we had a little chat every day, but i think those days are gone. I am trying not to take it personally, he complained at his last place that no-one spoke to him...but i think it's more the other way around.

I have a good heart, but a lonely one...