I am selfish. I fancied going to subway city last night for the 90's night. I texted Orion, who seemed up for it, and in fact phoned me during choir prac to confirm that i would pick him up straight after choir prac. I phoined him as i was leaving practice, but it went straight through to vm. I then got a text saying he wasn't going ot come.

I was a bit peeved, as this is the second time in two weeks that he has said yes, and then let me down at the last minute. I was peevish via text, and got along reply back that he was tired etc etc and i know (well i hope it was true, and not that in fact he decided to go out with Blondie) that it was true.

I guess when you don't understand the whole picture.... but then again, he had said several times that he was up for it, and it was only as i was leaving to pick him up that i got the cancellation...

Maybe he'll phone me today, maybe he won't.

Maybe that's what i need, friends who won't always let me down.

And, well, if Orion doesn't get back in touch i'm learning that it's his loss, not mine.

I wish so much could be different. The Blondie and I were proper friends, but it's gone...

At least i have choir and skating. It doesn't give me the companionship i desire, but it keeps my mind occupied.