Day by Day i just feel more and more sad. It was kind like i had started to open up to someone i thought was a friend. But it was all a lie. He was just using me.

I am jealous when i see him being happier and happier, and ignoring me. It's not that i don't want him to be happy, because i do. IT made me so sad when he was unhappy, and depressed and alone. But conversely, i know that there is no-one who really worries about me and thinks about what they can do to help me. Selfish, i know. But that's me.

I guess when you've been single for so long, you get that way. I wish i could stop these feelings.

I never used to care. And when i swopped roles, i did stop going for lunch with him. But now i do, and i can't seem to stop. If i didn't have to see him almost everyday i think the feelings wuld go, and i wouldn't be so agitated all of the time.