Slightly stressful weekend. I don't think io'm cut out to be a party planner! But Vicci, a school friend, came to visit - then went out for a meal with Vicci, Dave, Mini, Bhav, Orion, Dave's friend Amy, Mel (from OU), Linds and Darren. We went to the Pear Tree, and had a really nice meal.

Then we went into town, much rushing around ensued as people turned up at wrong pubs etc etc; but eventually we met up. After a spell at Loft Lounge Vicci went back to my house, and a couple of my work colleagues who turned up also went home. Then the hardcore party people moved into the gale. I clearly had a lot to drink, as parts are hazy, and i don't remember dancing that much. However, i hurt so much that i surely must have done! Blondie wouldn't come out, so I have been quite hurt by that.

Maybe it's for the best. My definition of friendship is clearly very different. And as Orion says, why should i get upset about someone who really doesn't give a toss about me, or is not willing to do something that that would bring a lot of pleasure to someone before their own feelings... if he had, i think he would have gone up a lot in Orion's eyes. And has several people have said, when Blondie gave me the card and rose for Orion... where was yours?

He made up some crappy story, but i knew that he hadn't actually got me one. Not that i actively look for cards or gifts... more that on my own birthday he got me to do something for him. That smarts a little. I mean, i've bought him cards and I got him a birthday gift... I needn't have, but i consider him a good friend.

Or rather, i considered...

Mostly what i want i to meet someone, so i can have lots of affection. I long for hugs and kisses. I think that i have a lot of good qualities, and the last few months have made me aware of my bad points, and i'm working on them.