Not a bad birthday. In fact a pretty good one. People at work were so nice to me, with a card and flowers. Sadly it was rather spoiled by Blondie turning up to work, just as I was leaving, and handed me a card and a rose. So i kind of awkwardly said thank you, of course he then quickly says - oh they aren't for you. He wanted me to give them to Orion.

Things just upset me so much that i cried all the way home.

Things won't get better, they just get worse. I can't stand to see Blondie so upset and unhappy; but it's clear that they aren't suited and Orion knows it...but he also loves him, and doesn't want to hurt him, so keeps seeing him. That, in turn, makes Blondie feel like he still has a chance. So he then gets more hurt when he's rejected.

Of course Blondie didn't get me a card, but that's not the kind of thing he thinks of. And well, i'm slowly letting go. I don't like to, as he is hurting and i want to be there for him. But, he's said so many times that we aren't friends, and that he isn't there for me...