Again it's been a weird time. I've seen Orion a few times, but I can see him going downhill, and I can't keep him up particularly if we go out as i get panic attacks. Still, now that he's decided to withdraw from the world i am sad as I get lonely and i am an affectionate little person who loves to be hugged. I hope he decides to remain in touch not just for me as he makes me laugh, but I hope that i can be a positive influence in his life and encourage him not to drink and to feel better about himself as i think he's a top bloke.

Blondie on the other hand is very down, it makes me down as I hate to see people in pain. But on the other hand i have seen some of the things he has texted to Orion which are lies, For example he said that It made me happy to see the two of them together... which i haven't said. Also that he is always there for me and helps me everyday. Which he doesn't. I have mentioned to him several times about being lonely and that it would help me if he came over to my house...but of course he doesn't.

I am trying not to be down about it, and to think of the good things that Orion has said about me...that i am a warm-hearted person who cares a great deal. Somewhere out there there has to be a someone who would like a warm-hearted girlfriend...

Sometimes people come into your life for just a short while, for a reason. Maybe he came into mine so that I can see that I am a good person at heart, who wants to help others and that people do actually like me.