i know i'll always have it, but i try not to let it dictate my life. But nevertheless i m lonely. It's not that i don't do what i want, because i do. But i would like friends to do it with. I am a very loyal friend, if you need me to help you i will come and help you. If you are unhappy, i will support and comfort you. But i don't get it in return from anyone. Not that i do those things in the hope of getting that in return, i do them because that's just who i am.

I feel so guilty though for hurting Blondie's friend, but i was put in such a position. I wish he would speak to me, for sure as sure is sure, Blondie isn't a real friend much as i kidded myself he was.

I have sent him a message asking him if he wants me to stop inviting him to my place, or to include him on invites to things i'm doing. So far he hasn't replied, so i'm taking that as a yes.

I knew that making friends was too good to be true. There is something about me which means that people don't like me...i will be forever lonely.