I get tired of being invisible. But it's going to take be so long to lose the weight to get to a dize that comes close to anything like normal. I wonder how i can last so long.

Then i remember that i have been single a long time so i must be able to withstand it.

So i decided to do something. I have an interview with RSVP on Saturday. It's a big step for me as i am still quite afraid. I get freaked out by guys, but i still want them.

Thats me...full of contradictions. But at least i'm facing facts that known of the guys i like...like me back. Which is a pity as i think i'm a good match for them both in different ways. I wonder why and as per usual i question God. I feel that I have a lot of love to give someone.