I haven't written much in a while, partly due to having a large number of powercuts. It's quite a depressing experience sitting alone in the dark and cold. My mum back to her normal ways of saying what exactly did i want her to do.

Some things don't change.

My friend Claire that i managed to get in touch with had her baby. So lucky.

The beading course in Nottingham was great. Next time, and i hope that there will be a next time, i would probably catch the train from Tamworth instead as it would save me about 30 mins. That doesn't sound like a lot, but after a long day and you are just dying to get home it makes a big difference.

I got the tram from the train station which meant that it was really easy to get to the shop. The shop is really nice, all purple and blonde wood, with a lovely light workshop room above the shop. The instructor, Natalie was nice (a bit of a biscuit fiend!) and showed me a little of the beadlook work, which i would love to do next. I now feel quite confident that i could make basic earrings and necklaces.

My budget is completely shot to pieces. It's mainly to do with the car costing so much to keep going. Next month i will have OU fees to pay too, i do wonder if this might have to be my last year, as i simply may not be able to afford to do much more.

I think i have those post-christmas blues. Without on-call money my budget is very tight. I'm quite decided that i will give up buying n-rev mag, and i won't eat out (apart from my birthday, but i am only going to the peartree so my bill will be under 15 quid), and i'm not going to buy a game for my wii unless i sell a game i already have, or sell books or Cds instead. i try not to have my heater on in the evenings to save an electricity. Instead i put two blankets over me and my snuggle socks on my feet. The cat is going back onto tins, as they are much cheaper than pouches. As i'm at slimming world i do realise that i spend a fiver a week on this, but then again i'm not spending 20 quid a week on lunches, so that i think is a good saving. The things i want, such as books, i am using the on call money that i saved up in December. It sounds silly, but then again i don't go out at weekends spending pounds on alcohol. At least with books, i can enjoy them again and again.

I do want to go on beading courses, so i am hoping that i can pay for those by making some nice stuff and selling it to mum or my sister.

There are somethings that i need to buy such as new glasses. It's very expensive, but at least i will get some back from the BHSF, which is useful. I also have to buy some new boots, and my old ones broke. I'm currently wearing brown shoes with my black clothes, which doesn't look ideal really. Plus boots are better in winter, the shoes are not waterproof and given that it's both windy and rainy i need adequate foot protection!

I think that both of those come before books...

Well i only got 9 our of ten right on the audition for the national lottery peoples quiz yesterday - so i was rather bummed out about that. Then things went from bad to worse. My mum had her car stolen. She was so cut up about it. She had stopped at a post box to post a letter, and left the kets in the ignition. A hoodie leapt into the car whilst she was posting the letter and sped off. We aren't sure if insurance will pay out because of this. Apparently it will take about a month to organise. My mum was crying saying it was the only car she ever liked, both my sister and i drove around trying to see if we could spot the car.

The car had my mums handbag, and moby in it. The thief phoned me on my mobile, and wanted to know where i was. I told him i was at the police station, and they put the phone down sharpish.

I am so sick and tired of bad things happening to my family.

I've restarted SW. I like the consultant there, unfortunately she's that good that she's going to train to become a district manager, so will be leaving. I hope that they do get someone to replace her, as if not it would mean two classes that i have joined which have closed! It was a quiet class, but not so surprising especially since the weather wasn't that good. And also that the normal place where it is held was closed because the roof had caved in! Still, i'm doing okish.

Tomorrow i have off as i'm taking my car to be mot'd and serviced. I am quite literally praying that they can fix a problem i have with my indicator. By taking tomorrow off, it gives them Friday and Saturday to fix it, so i'm hoping that that will be possible. Otherwise i might have to try and beg monday off too. We'll see.

This is such a stressful time of year! My mortgage should be going through next Monday, so when i get the letter from the solicitors i hope that it gives a final settlement of 2k, otherwise i am going to struggling somewhat. I do have the money, but it takes 10 days to reach me and then further time for me to get to the bank and deposit the cheque. I hate doing things this way. I do have a little money in my isa, so i may end up doing some shifting of funds around tomorrow.

I can't remember if i mentioned it, but as a result of putting my email address in my old school's old girls letter i heard from a friend. From her i got the email address of another friend! It is a little depressing though as everyone seems much more together/happy/successful then me.

It's hard sometimes not to think that i am wrong...