Friday started off quite well. Sadly when i drop my car sharers off home riday night, i was told that i was no longer welcome to car share with them. I am not the most confident of drivers, but i do feel that I have improved (well, when was the last time i wrote about having an accident!!), but apparently my driving is stressing out one of the people and therefore he no longer wants me in the group. As he is quite a bully, instead of him going, it is I who have to leave. I was so upset, as i truly am not the most confident of people and this really knocked me. Especially since I had done everything he wanted, which was not at all convenient for me.

Then that guy cancelled on me, so I was left feeling very low and lonely. I keep saying to myself over and over again that i am a nice and good person. Honestly, though, when you sit at home alone its gets rather hard to believe.

I can feel that i'm slipping down again, so i am trying to think of things to keep me positive. Simple things. I found out that itv2 shows the Oprah Winfrey show, i used to watch this when i was really very low in chesterfield, as the shows were usually positive and uplifting. So that's one thing that I can do.

As a result of feeling low i did go and spend more money that i should this weekend. I went to Ikea to look for muffin sheets (nowhere seems to sell a 6 muffin sheet) and had the meatballs there. Sunday i was really feeling blue, so i rented a dvd and bought popcorn and pringles. So i overspent by around 13 quid. Still, i had to do something.

I also owe openhosting 59 quid, so that's rather scuppered plans. And of course, now that i am carsharing i'm going to have to pay about 50 quid or so more on Petrol.

Life is really getting to be a struggle. It's not as if i'm spending thousands on foreign holidays, or have a lavish lifestyle spending lots of money on clothes (i shop at george) or going out. I try and cut back, but it never seems to make a difference. I am really and truly hoping that when i finish paying my credit cards off in July that i will at least have a little money so i can buy a cd or a dvd each month.

I think i really am going to have to start bringing in a lunch to work.