Tomorrow i am getting up very early and getting an early train down to London. I'm on a .net programming course in London which i am very much looking forward to. It's going to mean a long day tomorrow. I suppose i should have gone down tonight, but there you go. It's several days away from my baby, Charlie. Mum is going to feed him, but he does like to snuggle up next to me sometimes. I think my hotel is a very short distance from the training place, so i am hoping to maybe get up about the same time as normal, but have a decent breakfast, a lighter lunch and then something for tea.

I am tired today. Yesterday i was struggling to breathe and as a result i went to the doctors this morning. I don't have a chest infection, and she could see nothing down my throat. My peak flow was down, so i have an inhaler for when i really struggle to breathe. I have to go back in two weeks. I woudln't usually bother the doctor, but i've had this cold/cough for nearly 6 weeks now, which seems excessive to me.

I feel tired and achey too, and cannot concentrate on anything.

I did some shopping on Sunday as i needed a smart top for an evening out with mel and joolz this coming Saturday. I went to the Asda at Tamworth instead of Minworth and found a nice purple top. I tried their restaurant and i felt that the food and service were better than minworths.

I have a telephone tutorial tonight. I have about 10 or so more words to write on my TMA. I am finding it a struggle, as with being ill i just tend to flop at night. And at weekends too.

Last night i decided that it would be a nice idea to have some kind of gathering at my house christmas eve, but given how i am feeling i'm not sure i have the energy! Also, i'm not sure who would come.

I guess i am a bit low at the moment. It's the combination of hating work, feeling lonely and the onset of winter. I am definately going to try and have a holiday next year. I am to have all of my debt paid off by March. Which means that i will have paid off about 3k. I can then put the momey i was paying to credit cards to better use!

I wanted to go around the german market in birmingham with someone, but i ended up going on my own, Which wasn't completely bad. I enjoyed some gluhwein and german sausage, bought Marcus and OJ their christmas presents. I also decided to go to the "Love revealed" exhibition at the Art Gallery. It's certainly an extensive exhibition, with some really nice pictures. Best of all, when i went there i only had two tenners on me, and no change. The attendant said he was waiting for his supervisor to come back with change. He paused, adn then printed me off a complimentary ticket and said i could go in for free!

I have caved in and i'm going to the doctors tomorrow. I have been struggling with cold cough for about 6 weeks now, with not much improvement. Today my cough is worse and my chest feels a bit tight. I suspect that there is nothing the doctor can do, but breathing would be good.

I am very lonely at the moment. I want to do things like go to a pub with friends and have a night out. Or tomorrow, to go to the german christmas markets in birmingham with someone.

Trouble is, everyone i know is married or in a relationship, so weekends are spent with their partners.

I hate my life so much.

I've bounced back somewhat after the weekend.

I managed to get Mum her Christmas present, so i "just" need to wrap that. My attempts at wrapping usuaing involved me getting completed tied up in sticky tape and trying to patch bits of wrapping paper together. Still, it gives me something useful to do with my hands.

After my telephone tutorial on Saturday, i have to rethink part of my TMA to include a model on change - but as it doesn't need to be in until December (although i will have to send it before then as i am away on a course) I am still miles ahead.

I am somewhat rumpled in spirit. My application for the civil service was unsuccessful, although i suppose that bringing my score on the numerical test from below average to average was something worthy of note. I also got a rejection from Mcdonalds yesterday, so i am definately feeling rumpled.

I just have to hope that somewhere out there there is a job for me.

I've sent off my learning plan for Y154, and am a good way through the first tma. I hope to finish it before Sunday, so that i can get a start on the next book. As i am going on a course at the end of November, it means that i am not going to be able to do some studying for a week.

I am still trying to get over this cold/virus thing. I still feel tired, under the weather and i cannot get rid of the cough. urgh.

I have a freezer full of tasty home made food, but when i get home i just don't feel like it. I have stocked up on some soups, as that usualyl goes down well with me.

I hate feeling ill.