Hallo all! My comments and this are powered by Blogger, so heaven only knows how that works.

Thank you for your kind words, i am so fed up. I want to move on, so i have a decision to make., Either stay where i am and find a different role, or leave the company. The pay is ok here, but it is unlikely that i will get promoted in the role i am in now.

I read the Bacchae last night. I'm going to read a play every night, and am also going to work on summaries for them. I have a nice summary for Stelai already, and need something simillar for pots, sculptures, buildings and plan readings.

Then i need to do the ST's and pick something out of the off-prints. Then Thuc. I'm going to leave him til last as he just doesn't stick in my memory, so the closer i do him to the exam the better.

When i started the course i wanted a pass 2, but i shall now be satisfied with a pass!

I just cannot get into revision. Last year i was very motivated and was going through my book and practicing my vocab.

I've not opened a book at all.

I haven't really enjoyed this course, and just want to pass.

In avoiding revision i have become a fan of itv 3. It has some quality dramas like poirot, sherlock holmes, jeeves and wooster, and campion.

Tonight i have to do some revision, i really must. But i cannot face reading Thuc. I hate it so much, and nothing goes in. Maybe i should tell myself to forget him, and concentrate on other things that i like a little better.

I should read the plays tonight.

I forgot to mention that i joined a choir. It was the sutton one that i mentioned before. The people are very friendly. So far we have done mainly things that I know, and of course coming up to christmas there will definately be songs that i am familliar with.

I have also signed up for a short guitar course. I am hoping that it is going to go ahead, because the teacher phoned me and said that a lot of people who had shown an interest had pulled out. This is a pity but when he has hired a hall, he has to have a certain number of people to pay for it.

Went to Spice hits town for the first time in a very long time. It was in the bar that used to be Bobby Browns and is now more of a cuba/salsa place. Not that there is a problem with that, but more that we used to have the club part to ourselves until 10:30 or so so you knew everyone was spice. This time it was just in the bar so it was hard ot know who was spice and who wasn't.

I did have a big shock regarding someone that i have never mentioned before. At least i don't think so. That's because it is difficult for me to talk about, but i guess i should. Maybe

Anyway i bumped into this guy. I have seen him around a few times before and we got chatting. He seemed nice enough, and i began to think that maybe my prayers were answered.

Then he made a racist remark. And that was that. A woman passed by looking for the toilet, he went to show her and i legged it.

Yes, i know, but the legging it was more down to the person i have never talked about before. Although once someone makes a racist remark i just can't stay in the same place as them any longer.

Back to begin again about the person. It happen several years ago. I was in oasis and there was this guy that i really liked called Neil. He was so nice and we had so much in common and we talked for hours. Neil was sharing an apartment with several other people, one of whom is my good friend Andy and another was this person.

Anyway, i think i wrote about how Neil came to nothingm but i saw the other person again at a spice disco. He was going around trying to cop off with as many people as possible. I remember going into the Ladies and he followed me in and tried it on. It sounds like nothing to most people, but it really shocked and upset me, and has affected me ever since. I'm not the kind of person that guys come on to, and anyway, following someone ito the Ladies is not a normal thing. I made a complaint, and i understand that person did reply to my complaint but the guy who runs the group said that he didn't want me to read it. I can probably imagine why.

I saw him around for a while, and i did try to explain to my friends at the time, but i don't think anyone ever really understood. And i suppose it does sound like nothing, but when you remember that i have been single for 8 years being followed into a Ladies toilet and have someone impose himself on you is quite threatening.

If this was the movies i would soon have found myself a lovely boyfriend who would show me that not all blokes are quite so forceful. But this is real life.

At the moment i seem to be filled with a terrible ennui. Nothing interests me. I retreat more and more into my dream world, mostly because it is so much better than real life.

I'm looking into TEFL salaries and it would be less than half of what i am on now. So i wouldn't be able to afford my mortagage anymore.

It all boils down to money in the end. I am beginning to think i should work a lot harder on the house, try and sell it for 30k more thani paid for it, and then get a house for 50k or so and have a much smaller mortgage.

Money is always a problem with me. I like to spend it. I must be better this month though, as i did dip into my overdraft. I spent too much on eating out. This month i have bought a birthday present for my sister. I would like to go out and do something with spice, but that would be another 20 quid.

One thing i am going to do is join a choir. THe first rehearsal is next Tuesday.

With all that's going on in the world i was rather reminded of the governments Preparing for Emergencies booklet. A booklet full of useful tips like, call 999 and if there is a bomb in your building you should leave. Oh and that you should learn how to tune your radio to your local station. Oh and take your mobile phone with you as part of your survival kit.

Then i started looking at survival kits. Well, i don't need a flood kit as i live in birmingham. There is a river, and i have checked on the environment agency map, if there was an extreme flood it might reach my house, but a general survival kit is a thought. Looking at kits there are some interesting things i had not thought of such as a pack of cards (for entertainment) and tobacco (for possible use in trading)

Not that i am paranoid or anything.

From despair to hope.

After my bid to depress myself i googling for some of my school friends. I have out that Abbie is now a senior fellow in onocology. Good for her! And i found an email address for a nicola. It was for an art therapist in Sheffield. Well, the Nicola that i knew studied in Sheffield and was arty but was going to be an architect. But it just seemed right. So i emailed and it was her! How fantastic! There was a large crowd of us in school, but when we went to uni and with the death of one of us, another girl named nicola there just seemed to be a change...

I have just returned home after cycling into a bush.

Ouch.

In a bid to depress myself even further i decided to hunt the net for old boyfriends.

I didn't find any, but did find this . A page about the youngest brother of my first boyfriend.

Things truly haven't got better at work. A lot of the time i am made to feel like it is entirely my fault, and maybe sometimes it is.

I have just edited this. I'm aware that there are people out there who have lost their jobs over their blogs...

The Stone is getting close to finishing. In order to keep up i have to solve 3 puzzles everyday. Oh and write a TMA and revise!

Well im up to two solves, so i need to do one tonight. Or more possibly.

I may even find out tomorrow that in fact those who are not at a certain stage won't be eligible to take part...

I'm rather sad it's coming to an end.