I have decided that next year I am going to Greenbelt. I have no friends to go with me, so this is a huge thing. I could end up being very lonely, but i think it's one of those things that i have to do.

I sat and cried at work. Things just aren't getting any better. I don't think i should work in an environment where i sit and tremble and cry.

I got my first set of cards for PerplexCity last night. It's more vibrant and alive than the stone. Unlike the stone though, the answers to the puzzles are easy to find as people share them out. So i don't know how the prize is going to work.

I didn't get up to a lot in my week off work. I did go to Oxford and do a lot of the touristy things and dreamt about studying there. Stupid really, when i was at school i had the opportunity to do it but chose not to and didn't apply to any Oxbridge college. Now that i cannot study full-time.

I just mess everything up.

I have decided that instead of doing an OU course over the winter period, I am going to go for a TEFL qualification. Not one of the well known ones, as it requires that i either have 4 weeks off work (not possible) or i travell to london and get there for 6:30 twice a week, which i don't think is possible.

I put on 4lbs this week, which is really soul destroying as it took me three weeks to lose that amount. Instead of being good i then just started eating. Once you start eating junk food, it's hard to stop again.

I have ordered a carpet for my room, and when that comes I can move the tallboy from downstairs and move some of the furniture from my scond bedroom. With the furniture out of the way I can start decorating that room.

I have cancelled my gym membership and I can going to try and pay off my debts sooner. An extra 50 quid a month wil mean i can pay off my cap 1 this year and the rest by the middle of next year.

After a week off work it was hard to come back in, not least because i forgot that there are now variable speed limits on the m42 with speed cameras. The signs were flashing 40 and whilst the traffic was slow i naturally did even less than that, but when the traffic cleared i did the normal thing of speeding back up to 70 again. It was only when i saw a gantry with the camera sign and the 40 flashing that i remembered. I only hope that i didn't get caught. At least not caught by more than one camera.

I hate being so reliant on having a car.