Apparently i am too flappy at work, despite being on call and working more weekends and bank holidays than anyone else, i make one mistake in escalating something and now i am not allowed to be on call anymore.

It's all a matter of perception. And at least i didn't cry this time, but it makes me so angry. I worked so hard, and for nothing...

But i'm going to be positive about it. They may think i panic, but i know how much better i am, how much stronger i am than only a few months ago. How i don't cry every day at work, how I don't drive myself crazy by going through things over and over again. For work it's important they my bosses know, but for the rest of me and my life it's important that i know. Since only i can improve things.

but i'm being proactive again, i spoke to HR to get some advice onhow to tackle this and i'm going to speak to my bosses boss since he is the one who felt i was panicking.